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Finding way

March 8, 2022 / / 0 Comments

I’m desperate to get back on some kind of track. It’s been such a long 2 years. On top of the crazy state of everything for everyone, we left Texas in November, and the chaos of life before has been completely overshadowed by the chaos since.

We’re rehabbing my late mother’s house, which was beset by a hoarder tenant who happens to be closely related to me. We’ve been living out of suitcases and airbnbs since. And honestly it’s been hell.

…

time passes

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We’ve been in the house for about a week now. We have all new flooring, with scraped popcorn and newly painted ceilings. It’s not perfect, or even good yet, but we’re trying to find our way.

December 6, 2021

I have a lot of … something about this painting. The scale of these “sailboats” is super wrong, and they all seem awfully close and have you been to Gulf Coast? no way the water is deep enough for your boat this near to shore.

December 6, 2021

lest my former post lead anyone to believe it’s all sunsets and mimosas over here:

December 5, 2021

if/when your life moving plans go to shit, I recommend renting a sunset view condo and declaring the next two months fakecation! #veryprivilegedpost

November 10, 2021

my husband speaking the truth: “Listening to new albums takes a lot of emotional strength that sometimes we just don’t have.”

August 5, 2021

“I wondered if it was possible to donate my body to science before I was actually dead. I wondered if a disease were to be named after me what the symptoms would be.”

― Miriam Toews, quote from A Complicated Kindness

Hello again, again

April 8, 2021 / / 0 Comments

I spend too much time thinking about blogging and so little time actually blogging. I’d really like to set a schedule and commit to it. I really miss old-school blogging but there are still some good ones out there that give me the warm fuzzies (and good doses of inspiration).

As of last week, I’m halfway (or really more like one-third) vaccinated and can’t wait to get my second (Team Pfizer) shot. I took 3 days off work so if I feel puny that’s fine and if I don’t I’ll still get to take extra naps. Win/win in my book.

I’m also burnt out on work and not only daydreaming about, but actually working on a 5 year retirement plan. It’s probably going to be a partial pain in the ass, and require some uncomfortable compromise, but the thought of only a few more years of 40-hour weeks is so enticing.

So, that’s the recent state of Z, with more updates to come hopefully sooner rather than later.

Inauguration

January 20, 2021 / / 0 Comments

Somehow the inauguration and my mother’s passing are tied together – even though four years ago they were actually months apart. I think when he (whose name shall never be spoken) was elected and I went walking in the rain that night (2 days after her first gone birthday) everything just broke. And I’m still broken.

But I’m trying to feel hope and peace and positivity or something/whatever. I’m still faking it, after all this time. And quietly wondering, “when does the making it come into play?”